I was here
by Lorelei Candice Black
Summary: Post season 3. Elena needs to make a choice: Vampire life or die? Songfic. Please read and review!


**I was here**

Elena was in her room, freshly showered and changed… She sat on her bed, thinking about what had happened to her during the last few hours. She had woken up in the morgue, knowing she was now in transition…She had also recovered the memories Damon had erased from her memory a long time ago, making the choice she thought she had done even harder to make. But first, she had another choice to make… Did she want to complete the transition and be a vampire forever? She always hated that idea and even today, she didn't want that… Death looked better from were she stood. The last time she was supposed to die and been saved, others had died for her, and the time before that it had been her parents in the car crash… Who would die this time if she completed the transition?

She sat up when someone knocked on her door. She knew everyone was downstairs, waiting for her to come down with her decision made. The door opened and Matt entered, closing the door behind him.

"How are you doing Matt?" she asked quietly.

"I should be asking you that!" He answered with noticeable nervousness in his voice.

"What's wrong Matt? Why are you here?" She asked him, knowing he wasn't here to play around.

"Everyone went to the grill to get you some time alone. I'm about to join them but I wanted to offer you my blood…to complete the transition and all…You know…" Matt was nervous and it was obvious to Elena that he was suggesting this because of the guilt he felt.

"Don't worry about it Matt, I have it all under control… I've got everything covered." She told him with a smile, never really lying.

"Are you sure?" he asked her.

"Yes, don't worry… You know Damon left me a glass of blood downstairs... Can I have a few moments alone now please? I'll join you all at the Grill in a moment!" She said. He nodded and left the room and the house.

She waited until he left to leave her room and go downstairs where she sat down at her mother's old desk and wrote letters to everyone.

One letter to the originals, saying she wasn't mad at Rebecca and that she hoped everything would go well for them. She added that she hoped Elijah would meet love, that he deserved it and that she would be looking out for him on the other side. She added she was grateful for meeting him.

One letter to her little brother, asking him to forgive her for this choice, that she didn't mean to hurt him and leave him all alone. She wrote to him that she would always be with him, no matter what happens. She asked him to grow up to be a good man, like she knew he was capable of.

On the letter to Bonnie, she told her friends she loved her and was sorry to make this choice. She asked her witchy friends to watch out for the people she loved and to take care of everyone. She added that se knew her and Jeremy could be happy together if she gave him a second chance.

To Caroline she wrote pretty much the same thing. The three of them had been friends for so long it was pointless to put too much in the letters; she knew she could trust Bonnie and Caroline to protect her loved ones. She also wished Caroline a lot of happyness with Tyler, since he was the one she had chosen.

In the letter to Matt, she told him she was sorry she couldn't be to him the girlfriend he wanted her to be. She told him it simply wasn't meant to be and that he should move on and find love somewhere else, create himself new memories, far from Vicky's and her memories.

Than came the hard part to write the letter to Stefan and Damon. She wrote them each a personal letter. Explaining she never could have made a choice between the two of them anyway and that she feared if she was to change, she would become just like Katherine. She told them both she loved them, truly and was sorry she couldn't be the one they wanted. She asked them not to ruin their new relationship over her death. She asked Damon not to give up, that he would find love someday, that he deserved to be loved and that he should keep behaving as well as he had lately instead of going back to his asshole self. To Stefan she asked that he loosened up a bit and gives Rebecca a chance. They worked well in the 20's and there was no reason why they wouldn't work now. Then she wrote that she would always be around, watching out for them, that if she could she would keep Rose company on the other side. She also asked them to keep an eye out for Jeremy and to, please, consider him like he was their own little brother and be on the look-out for him.

She finished each letter by a tearful 'I love you'. She told them all she was grateful to have had them in her life, that if she had to do it all over again, she wouldn't change any of them. She also added in all the letters that because she was a doppelganger, trouble would always follow her and that her loved ones would always be in danger, but that if she died, they wouldn't be any reason to hurt her loved ones.

When she was finally done, she put them all in the right envelopes and looked at the time. She had less than 1 hour left to complete the transition. She looked one more time at the glass of human blood Damon had left for her and sighted. It was still time for her to change her mind. If she didn't act soon, they would all come back and force her to change her mind again… She took her cell phone out and sent a text message to Caroline and Bonnie saying:

"**I drank the blood, be there in a bit, just need to change.**"

She took the letters and placed them next to the glass of blood, along with the ring Bonnie had already spelled her. Her phone biped and she saw a text from Bonnie:

"**Great, we're waiting for you at the grill**" she also got a text from Damon saying:

"**Do you need help getting there? Are you in control?**" She sighted… She wasn't sure if she was strong enough to do this…To leave them all behind… She shook her head, she had been over protected by them her whole life, she needed to be the strong one now. She needed to leave them all behind so they could be happy, worry free without her.

She wanted to leave them one last strong message so she took out the camera and set it up to shoot her. She then turned her computer on and put on the music only track of "I was here". She decided to sing it to them. She turned to face to camera and was about to turn it on when she saw that she only had 15 minutes left. Looking at her phone, her friends were getting worried and Damon was getting suspicious. She told them she was running late and had a little trouble with her car but was on her way. Then she turned on the video:

"_Hello, I know what I'm doing isn't right… I should have the courage to tell you all that I don't want to complete the transition face to face, but you know me, I'm a coward when it comes to facing hurting people I love… Please don't take it personally, I really love all of you and if I'm doing this, it's because it's what I want… I wasn't ready to die, but I'm even less ready to become a vampire… I don't want to risk becoming like Katherine and these last few days I could see myself becoming slowly like her… I wasn't capable of letting go and it was wrong of me… I shouldn't have led you on like that Damon and Stefan… I don't think I would have ever been able to make a definite choice because in the end, the two of you are perfect… The problem isn't you, it's me…us…doppelgangers… I'm happy that the line ends here with me… Anyway, here is a little song for you guys… I'm not that good of a singer but I thought it would get the point across…_" Elena then pressed 'play' on the computer and the music started. She faced the camera and started singing.

_I wanna leave my footprints on the sands of time_._  
Know there was something that, and something that I left behind  
When I leave this world, I'll leave no regrets  
Leave something to remember, so they won't forget  
_She was asking them not to forget her, to know she died to protect them because she loved them and that she wouldn't regret it. She was asking them to do the same, not to blame themselves and to remember her for who she was and what she did.

_I was here...  
I lived, I loved  
I was here...  
I did, I've done, everything that I wanted  
And it was more than I thought it would be  
I will leave my mark so everyone will know  
I was here..._

_I want to say I lived each day, until I died_  
_I know that I let something in, somebody's life_  
_The hearts I have touched, will be the proof that I leave_  
_That I made a difference, and this world will see_

_I was here..._  
_I lived, I loved_  
_I was here..._  
_I did, I've done, everything that I wanted_  
_And it was more than I thought it would be_  
_I will leave my mark so everyone will know_

_I was here..._  
_I lived, I loved_  
_I was here..._  
_I did, I've done, everything that I wanted_  
_And it was more than I thought it would be_  
_I will leave my mark so everyone will know_  
_I was here..._

_I just want them to know_  
_That I gave my all, did my best_  
_Brought someone to happiness_  
_Left this world a little better just because..._

_I was here..._

_I was here_  
_I lived, I loved_  
_I was here..._  
_I did, I've done, everything that I wanted_  
_And it was more than I thought it would be_  
_I will leave my mark so everyone will know_

_I was here_  
_I lived, I loved_  
_I was here..._  
_I did, I've done_  
_I was here_  
_I lived, I loved_  
_I was here..._  
_I did, I've done_  
_I was here_

When the music started, Elena had tears in her eyes. She knew she only had a few minutes left now and that her friends had figured out she lied and where on their way. She raised her face to the camera still recording and said:

"_I'm really sorry… I love you all… Don't blame it on anyone… It was meant to be this way… I love all of you… I'll always watch over you…I'm so sorry for the pain I'm about to give you but it's for the best… Don't be mad at me please… I love you…so much…all of you…"_

Then she turned the camera off and put it right next to the still full glass of blood, the ring and the pile of letters. She knew she wouldn't have the strength to climb the stairs up to her room before she died so she went to lie down on the sofa, knowing she did the right thing for her friends and family. It was her choice and she took it.

She could feel herself leaving her body just when the door opened with a big 'Bang' into the wall. They were calling her name and she stood, out of her body. Jeremy was looking at her, then at her body.

"Please don't be mad at me Jer… I love you… I left letters in the kitchen table." She said before she felt someone calling her, she turned around and saw Miranda and Grayson Gilbert, along with Jenna, Alaric, John and Isobel. They were all waiting for her. Before she walked toward them, she saw them with the letters in hand, crying over her body.

She walked peacefully toward her family; her friends would be fine as long as they would stick together. They didn't need her after all…

* * *

**What did you think? would you like a second chapter with the other's point of view? **

**A little review please?**

**Keep reading me!**

**Lorelei Candice Black**


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